Cycles

The last couple nights, Timothy has taken a little longer to get to sleep. He talks to himself and then all of a sudden, he starts to cry and then just as quickly finds his thumb and shuts his eyes. And then it starts all over again. It doesn't help to hold him, it doesn't help to stand next to his crib even. He just seems to have to go through this cycle a few times before finally being able to let himself slip into dreamland. It took less time tonight than last night, and hopefully will be even shorter tomorrow.

I find myself going through similar back and forth and around kinds of feelings and in the midst of the highs and lows, I recognize having been there before. And yet it is necessary to experience them anew before being able to move on to whatever comes next. I am just exiting a low which allows me some introspection. Hopefully it won't take me too many cycles to get there either.